the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Randomize
