closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
