So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
