i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize