brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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