My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
