I've blown a few things in my day
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
