i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize