i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Randomize
