when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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