I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
