He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
