I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
