he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
