Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
