I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
