hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
