im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
