oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
