If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
