and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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