ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
