I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
