Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I have tasted many bathrooms
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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