I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
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