we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
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