those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
