Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
