I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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