hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
