She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Randomize
