SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
