so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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