Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
