i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
