You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
