You're so nebulous sometimes
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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