so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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