ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
