My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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