Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
