Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Randomize
