if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
