thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I'm just crazy horny about you
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I would ride that face into the sunset
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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