Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize