My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
