For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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