Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Randomize
