That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
operation have a gay friend backfired
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
