im having a threesome with these popsicles
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
He felt like a one man threesome
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
