Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
