The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
