fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
