WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
