Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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