sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
