South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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