Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
